"Where there is clarity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance." -St. Francis of Assisi
The days have already been swiftly moving! Last Friday started with a bit of a rushed time to vote for Olaf vs. Kateri Tekakwitha for Lent Madness. I thought the decision was fairly easy- vote for a crazy Viking or a Native American sufferer. Obvious choice- vote for Kateri and it was obvious for everyone else as well. She has moved on to the next round. I got to spend most of the rest of the day read Facing East: A Pilgrim's Journey into the Mysteries of Orthodoxy by Frederica Matthewes-Green. I am overwhelmed by how much I am learning and falling in love with Orthodoxy. Hopefully more about that later. Because it came as a surprise that Hermione had another band thing at school in the evening so I was in a bit of a rush to make dinner- meatless and with a hearty serving of rice and beans of course- and then catch my ride to a friend's to watch IF: Gathering 2022. Now I will be the first person to admit that I am not a fan of Women's emotional conferences and the frenzied worship style, but I want to be supportive and continue to give it a try. This wasn't too much different from what I expected, but I did like the heart and conviction of the ladies and ministry goals. I am willing to give it a tentative thumbs up mostly because I am so desperate for other people and community (which, believe me is RARE for ME) that I do have to applaud the effort. Are some of the speakers a bit wishy-washy? Yeah. Do they focus and rely on the flash and sparkle of well-known speakers for promotion? Yeah. Is there a lot things I could be picky about? Of course- I wish there weren't so many "whoo-hoos" and repetitious songs and coerced repeat after me moments. But I am going to put the negative stuff aside for now and pray that some day I could find an event that is not so cringe for me. Believe me when I say I went down a HUGE 3 hour rabbit hole on discernment and truth seeking about the gathering and speakers trying to be gracious while not getting angry and feeling absolutely miserable about Christianity and church in general. Moral of this rant- I need prayer!
Which naturally brings me to the next topic- prayer intentions. I, obviously, need some personal prayers while I struggle with the conflicts of ministry, but I have actually been praying on how to bring the beauty of the Lenten season into my very Baptist church. I teach Sunday school to mostly my own girls but I have had a few extra regular attendees in the last month or so. I pray that I am choosing the right kinds of activities and I pray they hear the gospel. I spent much of Saturday working on the lesson that snowballed into what I wanted to reflect on- Christian symbols and church seasons of remembrance or memorial. The original lesson was on the Miracle at the Jordan River, but once I started noticing all the parallels I couldn't stop. I redid our bulletin board and can't wait to share with my students the tools to become more like Christ.
So now after all of that I need some rest. My heart is weary from feeling like I don't even know what to do beyond trusting God. Maybe that is all there is, but some days it does feel like there could be more.
"Rest is so necessary for the health of our minds and bodies, and often so difficult to achieve due to the many demands placed on us. But rest is also essential for our spiritual health, so that we can hear God's voice and understand what he asks of us." -Pope Francis
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