Welcoming Challenge

Right now I am reading so many different commentaries, theology books, and Bible studies my head is spinning so if I said all jumbled it is because I am having a hard time keep track of them all.  But today I will try to tell you what I have learned in my Bible Study on Luke.  I am on Luke 9 and was asked how have I been welcoming my family and friends like Jesus.  It was a tougher assignment than it first appeared.  Here is my answer.

I want to be more like Jesus, but fear and sinful nature hold me back.  How do I welcome people?  The frank and honest answer is- I don't.  People scare me.  It is a lot of work to talk and think of the right thing to say.  I judge too quickly.  I take criticism too personally.  I am so selfish.  I come before the throne of God begging for the opportunity to "welcome them" like He did in Luke 9:11. 

As a stay-at-home mom I have a million and one excuses as to why I can't welcome people.  It hurts.  What do I say?  Where do I start?  How can I stop apologizing for the state of my house?  I don't even want to mention the rejection.  Who wants that? 

I was recently introduced to a TV show called The Middle.  On the show one of the main characters is a teenage girl named Sue Heck.  She is use to rejection.  She gets it- a lot.  She has tried out for every club and sports team imaginable, yet she keeps going.  She keeps trying out.  Her joy is barely diminished.  It is a weird inspiration for me (I watch too much TV), but an inspiration none the less.

I think of Sue Heck.  The smile she has IS contagious (there is an episode where she tries to prove this but again fails miserably because people can't see it or are creeped out by it).  But moving on, I think of her as I try to reach out.  Challenging myself to just talk to others.  It doesn't have to spiritual or debate worthy.  It doesn't have to be memorable or emotional.  And surprise, surprise- it doesn't have to be about me!

Please pray for me as I work on this whole "welcoming them" challenge.  Jesus knows what He is doing with me.  I know there is a path just can't always see it. 

Loving It

Today I am really loving it.  Loving the morning, loving the green tea, loving starting a budget (we have finished our 3rd lesson in Financial Peace University), loving being an adult, loving reading God's word, and loving being a part of the family of God.  I had been dealing with a taste of bitterness at the beginning of the year having to dig through my fantasies and pull out who I am and not who I want to be like or who I want to copy.  I want to be me- whoever that is and embrace the now. 

Since the internet went down right around Christmas time and did not return till around the end of January I missed my regular interaction with my favorite Bible study site Good Morning Girls.  I will keep promoting them because they are so refreshing and down to earth.  It is reading from the word.  It is studying and digging deep.  It has lead me to want to wake up early (5:30 in the am) just to start the day.  I admit I am not always as faithful as I would like to be because sometimes my children have a cold or the baby is teething and that requires an all night nurse.  But God gives the grace and you just start over again when you feel rested and well.  After missing out for so long it was hard to just jump right in again, but I am back.  I am starting the Luke Bible study and I am SO EXCITED! 

One of the contributors to the Bible study started off with a quote from The Jesus Storybook Bible author is Sally Lloyd-Jones.  It gives me chills and makes me tear up every time I read it.  I highly recommended reading this book to your children or even to yourself.  It helps to answer, for me, the question as to why is the Bible so big?  Why didn't God just leave us John 3:16 and be done with it?  It changed my reading of the Bible dramatically.  I am forever grateful that my sister-in-law gave this gift to my girls and we have read it through at least 3 times already.  

“No, the Bible isn’t {just} a book of rules, or a book of heroes.  The Bible is most of all a Story.  It’s an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. 

It’s a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne ~ everything ~ to rescue the one he loves.  It’s like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life! 

You see, the best thing about this Story is ~ it’s true.  There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one Big Story. 

The Story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them. 

It takes the whole Bible to tell this Story.  And at the center of the Story, there is a baby.  Every Story in the Bible whispers his name. 

He is like the missing piece in a puzzle ~ the piece that makes all other pieces fit together, and suddenly you can see a beautiful picture.”

Okay...and a Surprise!

Left things a little hanging last time and was not happy that my attitude was so poor.  I am just suffering from blogger's remorse and (let's be honest) I am jealous of all the other moms who have money to blow on $100 sweaters and $3 coffees and even the ones who have a ton of kids and make it work on tight budgets. 

I have returned to my favorite Bible study form and Good Morning Girls.  It opened my eyes to my anger and bitterness.  I had originally decided to go back when they started a new study because I had missed so much since the Internet went down in November, but I was so down in the dumps about my spiritual life that I just said, "What the hey I will just jump in the last week and keep going with it because it couldn't make it worse- right?"  I feel so much love and peace right now.  I will have to keep up on my own studies somehow if the internet goes down again.  Because I am getting an attitude check and feeling so motherly today I will share something that I have yet to write down yet-

LUCY'S BIRTH STORY

I have not shared one of these in blog form before because, well, mostly because I love telling the story and once I write it down then I don't feel like have to keep sharing it any more, but you don't understand how much I LOVE birth stories.  I have read quite a few on blogs of strangers and of course books and from friends, but I have only written down Hermione's (my first born) story in her baby book and I don't think I could EVER forget Ariana's story.  Since this one is the freshest I should share and I hope you enjoy it if you like birth stories as much as I do.  Here goes-

I was exactly 37 weeks along on a cold  Monday, December 5.  That morning I went to my appointment to be checked by my midwife.  It was all routine and she said I was fine.  She asked me if I had been feeling any contractions, but like I had told her before and because of my previous births I can not ever be sure because I (apparently) have a high tolerance for pain.  She looked at me a little suspicious and let me go on my way.  I didn't feel particularly uncomfortable or even ready, but this is how I know it was a Monday because that is shopping day.  I did, however, feel the nesting rush because I was shopping like a mad woman.  It was so close to Christmas and I thought if this birth was any thing like the others it would be a complete surprise but would probably happen this week so I better get food, presents (not anything fancy just some stuff if that didn't get done), and pjs for the hospital (I had yet to bring my own clothes to the hospital).  This took up the whole day.  Thankfully I was doing all of this sans the children except for the one resting (at least I THOUGHT she was resting) in my belly.  I also remember posting on my status that morning after my appointment at 11:15am:  "not foreseeing much productivity today..."  I had posted that because I was a little tired from feeling so busy but knew I HAD to go shopping or everyone would starve if I wasn't there to cook.

So I had been shopping and walking around all day.  I get home and need to relax.  I don't remember what I cooked for dinner- probably something gross from a box like Hamburger Helper or something.  I sat down with the family and told my husband, "I feel really weird."  At this point I think Lucy had clearly "dropped" in to my pelvis because the weirdness was a very low tightening around my belly.  This weirdness continued through dinner and I did not make much of an effort with reading bedtime stories.  All this time my husband was very nervous but that didn't register at the time.  I was really focusing on the strange feeling that was neither painful or necessarily uncomfortable just "weird". 

Right after bedtime-8ish?  I started to become concerned.  I had had many friends have false alarms and I didn't want to go to the hospital only to be sent back so I began researching Braxton-Hicks because what else could this be?  I was extremely restless and tried to relax and watch TV.  I drank a lot of water and paced the hall way.  Then when I went to the bathroom around 10 my body released much waste that was when I knew I was having or going to start having contractions.  It happened that way last time. 

Now I am a little fuzzy on the details here but these are the little things I remember.  My husband watching me like a hawk when I wasn't in the bathroom.  Watching the clock and trying to time the contractions- was that two minutes or 10?  I remember the contractions being shorter but there wasn't much of a break in between.  I remember it actually hurting a little bit so I knew this was real.  I remember trying to say we should go to the hospital but having to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes and being really aware that I could ah hem *defecate*, excuse me, in my new pajamas kept me from making the message clear.  My husband had returned with someone to watch the little ones while I returned from the bathroom.  Finally, we left the house a little after 11:30.  

I love laboring in the car.  I don't know why but it doesn't hurt as much.  When we got nearer to the hospital we had a small argument as to where we should park that I laugh about now (I don't know if he does).  He wanted to park in the main area while I wanted to go the emergency entrance.  It wasn't as funny at the time.  I was now in fairly serious pain and continually feeling like I had to do a deuce.  Well when we got registered at Santiam Memorial Hospital they said they had to clean up the room.  It wasn't ready yet!  Ahhhh!  Okay, so I ran off to the bathroom because well you know... and came back just in time for them to take me to the room.  My water broke in the doorway.  I said to my husband, "I am NOT getting rid of these new pajamas, but you can throw away the slippers."  The nurse was calmly, TOO calmly, setting up the little bed, while I stripped and immediately lay on the bed.  The bed was situated just so that I could see the mirror and could tell that it was time to push- I could see a head coming out of my body!  Could no one else see that a head was coming out of my body?  I could hear a voice in my head saying or screaming those things but no sound was coming out of my mouth.  No one seemed to be looking and the midwife wasn't in the room.  The nurse had her back turned but my husband was some how clued in by his EYES.  "Um, the head?  The baby? Coming?" my husband seemed to be saying somewhat urgently.  The nurse whipped around and only mildly surprised helped deliver Lucy as the midwife walked in just in time.  It was just one big push that I made no sound during which my baby came in to the world all beautiful and squishy and healthy.  The midwife recommended that if there is a next time I just camp out at the hospital.  Lucy was born only 5 min. past Midnight on Tuesday, December 6, 2011- 5 pounds 13 ounces.