Lent: At the Half Way Point

Dearest Reader,

My brain is buzzing with so many things to write about- I do not know where to beginning.  Since I last wrote was shortly after I received the Ashes we are now already at the half way point of Lent.  I wanted to say and do so much more.  I always do.  I don't know how to calm my spirit and my ever growing list of personal expectations.  I have found so many Lenten resources.  I could barely contain myself!

First of all I have discovered Lent Madness.  I have always wanted a fun, simple, and interactive way to learn about the saints- men and women of extraordinary faith.  It is just like all the other madnesses (if that is a word) and it is educational and just plain fun.  I haven't filled out my own personal bracket and I don't have a prediction, but I would personally like to see Fanny Crosby or Scholastica with the golden halo.

Second I have been watching Daily Mass most days that I have been at home and if I wake up early enough.  I am falling in love the Mass more every day.  It scares me because the doctrine of the Catholic church isn't quite right but my heart won't stop being stirred within me.  I don't know who is doing the stirring- me? God? Satan?  I know I can not leave my current church, but I wonder how far I can be involved without feeling like I am betraying my Baptist upbringing.

Third, I have faithfully made the all the meals from this years CRS rice bowl so far.  I am really excited for today's meal- Pupusas de Queso with Curtido and Salsa Roja from El Salvador.  I will not be able to make the official curtido as I didn't realize until right now that it was suppose to soak but my kids would not have eaten it any way if I had.  I have been putting some money in the CRS Rice Bowl it almost every day..   

Lastly I have NOT been as faithful with my InstaLent Photo Challenge has I have been in the past.  I am going to say it is partially because I was waiting for my new camera and partially because I wanted to be more creative, but I have officially decided that daily life is creative and challenging enough.  So now I have a lot of catching up to do and now that we are at the half way point it is time to kick it up a notch.  I will be sharing my photos soon!

Please, tell me what you have been doing for Lent- big or little or nothing....I want to hear about you and your life.

Yours truly,

L.L.  

Lent: Why I Receive the Ashes

I am flustered and annoyed.  I can not focus.  The car is in the shop.  My oldest child is on an overnight trip I probably should have volunteered to go.  I haven't sat down with my other two to do school in so long that I can't remember.  They are wasting away watching TV as usual.  My husband has been sick all week.   I have slept in more days then have woken up on time for daily prayer and Bible reading this week.  Oh look- it is raining-again.  

I sit staring at the computer waiting for likes and comments to validate me as a person.  I don't go outside because what is the point- everyone is fake and no one REALLY cares about me.  Me- the one little insignificant in a world of billions of people.  I am not special.  I am not going to change the world.

Then I look at the calendar.  It is that time of year again.  It is later than previous years, but it is here!  It is NOT about me.  It is time for Lent.  The time where I can gather with fellow believers to accept the ashes and hear the priest say, "Repent and be faithful to the Gospel".

This season of 40(ish) days breathes new life into me.  Without the reminder of Lent, I feel I would continue to wallow in self pity and stumble through life in a meaningless haze.  This spiritual practice, though not prescribed in the Bible and not exactly recognize in my Baptist church, takes me in like a mother holding a newborn babe.  It refreshes, redirects, and corrects me.

What did Jesus do during those 40 days in the dessert being tempted?  All we know is what is recorded, and we know we could not endure it  But Lent can help us identify with our Savior.  Remind us we could never do it.  Just as the Old Testament Sacrifices reminded the Jews- they could never do it perfectly.

Why do I take the Ashes?  Repentance.  I don't hear this word often enough.  "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord."  Acts 3:19.  I receive the ashes to symbolize on the outside my inward repentance.  I receive the ashes to feel the weight of my sin.  I receive the ashes to mourn my sin.  I receive the ashes so that I may be born anew.  I receive the ashes to mark the promises of God.

I don't do it to feel special.  I don't do it to be exclusively different.  I don't do it to start a conflict or confusion about my beliefs or denomination.

I receive the ashes as a symbol of my repentance to get on track every year.  It is a yearly reminder- the reminder I need to keep strong in the faith.  There may be a time I may no longer need the ashes to remind me.  There may be a time when I am reminded every day in a way I can not imagine but God only knows.  But for now- I need this weight, this mourning, this reminder, and this time.

God be with you.