Lent: Why I Receive the Ashes

I am flustered and annoyed.  I can not focus.  The car is in the shop.  My oldest child is on an overnight trip I probably should have volunteered to go.  I haven't sat down with my other two to do school in so long that I can't remember.  They are wasting away watching TV as usual.  My husband has been sick all week.   I have slept in more days then have woken up on time for daily prayer and Bible reading this week.  Oh look- it is raining-again.  

I sit staring at the computer waiting for likes and comments to validate me as a person.  I don't go outside because what is the point- everyone is fake and no one REALLY cares about me.  Me- the one little insignificant in a world of billions of people.  I am not special.  I am not going to change the world.

Then I look at the calendar.  It is that time of year again.  It is later than previous years, but it is here!  It is NOT about me.  It is time for Lent.  The time where I can gather with fellow believers to accept the ashes and hear the priest say, "Repent and be faithful to the Gospel".

This season of 40(ish) days breathes new life into me.  Without the reminder of Lent, I feel I would continue to wallow in self pity and stumble through life in a meaningless haze.  This spiritual practice, though not prescribed in the Bible and not exactly recognize in my Baptist church, takes me in like a mother holding a newborn babe.  It refreshes, redirects, and corrects me.

What did Jesus do during those 40 days in the dessert being tempted?  All we know is what is recorded, and we know we could not endure it  But Lent can help us identify with our Savior.  Remind us we could never do it.  Just as the Old Testament Sacrifices reminded the Jews- they could never do it perfectly.

Why do I take the Ashes?  Repentance.  I don't hear this word often enough.  "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord."  Acts 3:19.  I receive the ashes to symbolize on the outside my inward repentance.  I receive the ashes to feel the weight of my sin.  I receive the ashes to mourn my sin.  I receive the ashes so that I may be born anew.  I receive the ashes to mark the promises of God.

I don't do it to feel special.  I don't do it to be exclusively different.  I don't do it to start a conflict or confusion about my beliefs or denomination.

I receive the ashes as a symbol of my repentance to get on track every year.  It is a yearly reminder- the reminder I need to keep strong in the faith.  There may be a time I may no longer need the ashes to remind me.  There may be a time when I am reminded every day in a way I can not imagine but God only knows.  But for now- I need this weight, this mourning, this reminder, and this time.

God be with you.