I Sing the Mighty Power of God

Missing In Action

I have been gone for a long time now.  For one thing I had two of my wisdom teeth taken out about a month ago now and let me just say I do NOT recommend it.  The recovery is awful especially having to take care of young children.  The diet for recovery leaves something to be desired as well.  If my blender hadn't bit the dust shortly before this it might not have been so bad, but I was living off of breakfast shakes, cream of wheat, scrambled eggs, and yogurt.  I felt so bloated and sick from all the dairy but it kept the Vicodin down so that made things more tolerable.

I have been feeling very insecure lately.  It seems to come in waves.  I reached the crest of it just yesterday (I think) and am about to crash back down into reality.  Mostly I am insecure because I have a lot of time on my hands and not many resources.  I end up reading way too much and comparing myself to other moms who seem to magically have more time then me and get a lot more done then me.  It gets so depressing that I don't want to wake up and have to start the ride all over again just to be disappointed that I don't match up.  Makes me sometimes want to break the Internet but at the same time it is my only friend.  This is not a healthy relationship.  Prays always appreciated!

Oh Worship The King - Chris Tomlin

Why Clean?

I am participating in the 31 Days to Clean Challenge by Sara Mae at an ultra slow snail pace because I can and because that is about as good as it gets from me right now.  First things first is to create a mission statement as to why I want a clean home.  Make it specific, find a place to write it down, and then frame it.  A personal note to self- don't over think it!

Mary Challenge:

~WHY CLEAN?~ 

 A clean house reflects God

It reflects His order, His love, His protection

God is a God of peace

A peaceful house is one 

where we can find things without confusion

God is a God of love

A loving house is one

where we can feel hospitable without apology

God is a shield and hedge around us

A safe house is one

where we do not fear (as best we can)

germs, tripping over toys, and unpleasant

odors and accidents that can occur

in a house that is not

CLEAN

 Martha Challenge: Make a list of all the supplies needed to complete the challenges in the future.  

-Baking Soda (usually on hand)

-Bucket (check)

-Sponges 

-Pledge 

-Dish/Wash Rags

-Lemon

-Windex

-Find out a way to best clean blinds that are VERY large

-Swiffer Wet Jet Mop

-Dust Buster or small vacuum of some kind

-Pick flowers or get some fake flowers to brighten the kitchen (I prefer fake because of all the maintenance of the real ones)

-Mr. Clean/Febreze cleaner, or any all purpose cleaner that smells nice, ANYTHING but Pine-sol would probably work

-Wood floor cleaner

-Steam Cleaner

-New Bedding for ALL

-First Aid Kit supplies and Cold Medicine supplies

-Bathroom Cleaner

-Create a home office or office area

-Drano

Good thing I am taking this slow- wow!  I don't think I could get or afford half of those things in only a month.  God is gracious and will bless this project no matter what the speed.  This will be hard work but a good challenge.   

Invisible

Invisible, it means not visible, not perceptible to the eye.  You are withdrawn from sight.  You are hidden.  You are not discernible to the mind.  

In the book Words by Ginny L. Yttrup, Kaylee attempt to be invisible to her abuser by not speaking.  Have circumstances in your life ever made you wish you were invisible?  How did you deal with that?

I, personally, have a lot of anxiety.  I don't have the confidence I wish I had.  I often want to be invisible.  In many ways I am invisible.  I don't have many friends.  I tend to get embarrassed FOR people who are performing.  I am not sure why, but I do.  Every time I gave a speech in college I wished to be invisible.  I remember reading in another book about a girl who wanted to be invisible and the author described her as looking at a crack through the floor and wishing she could fall through it.  I, honestly, don't deal with it.  I leave as many situations as possible when I feel like I want to be invisible.

Do you have a story where you wanted to be invisible?  How do you deal with it?     

I Need Thee Every Hour

Words

Recently I finished a very powerful book called Words by Ginny L. Yttrup.  With the wonder and power of technology I was able to find the author on Facebook and ask her if I could use her discussion questions as topics for my blog.  She said yes!  And of course I will give her all the credit and mention her book every time I use one of said questions.  I know my blog doesn't have a big audience but I like pretending I have a Fantasy Book Club because no one has time for real ones any more- at least not in my circle of people.

This is the synopsis of the book from goodreads.com-
      "Ten-year old Kaylee Wren doesn't speak. Not since her drug-addled mother walked away, leaving her in a remote cabin nestled in the towering redwoods-in the care of a man who is as dangerous as he is evil. With silence her only refuge, Kaylee collects words she might never speak from the only memento her mother left behind: a dictionary.
     Sierra Dawn is thirty-four, an artist, and alone. She has allowed the shame of her past to silence her present hopes and chooses to bury her pain by trying to control her circumstances. But on the twelfth anniversary of her daughter's death, Sierra's control begins to crumble as the God of her childhood woos her back to Himself.
     Brought together by Divine design, Kaylee and Sierra will discover together the healing mercy of the Word-Jesus Christ."

1. As with Kaylee, victims of childhood sexual abuse often lose their "voice".  What types of circumstances silence you?  How do you gain the courage to speak up when you'd rather remain quiet?

Although I have never experienced childhood sexual abuse, I have had negative sexual experiences that silenced me for seasons.  Thankfully I had friends who helped me open up before I reached tormenting like rage or locked silence such as Kaylee experienced.  The trivial things like being embarrassed in front of a crowd or being embarrassed for someone's performance can very quickly silence me. 

I have gained the courage to speak through Christ and supportive friends.  They got me into counseling.  It is hard to say if any of the counseling helped very much but I did feel cared for.

What silences you?  Are there "words" that comfort you?  Comment if you feel comfortable sharing or just tell me something that inspired you or what you have been reading.