This has been a very hard week and a half. I went to see a behavioral specialist. I haven't done a single picture beyond Ash Wednesday for Lent. Lucy has been having a lot of anger issues so we fight- A LOT. I have had to work on some reapplications and appointments, paperwork- the whole being a responsible adult thing.
I don't want this to put a damper on Lent 2019, but I am not doing well. Most days I feel numb and just go through the motions. I don't know if I will ever feel the passion for life I use to feel- sometimes I almost feel it when I am reading, sometimes I almost feel it whenever I get to be alone and it is quiet, sometimes I almost feel it when I am writing.
Two weeks into Lent and my spirit is down cast and I have taken very few pictures and read very little of the Bible and have not made it to Mass. For what it is worth here is my lenten promise picture. I have only had 2 slip ups with the eating after 7pm and I am going to try better on the prayer thing. I have had the absolutely abysmal time trying to wake up even slightly early. Pray for me.
"Our prayers for others flow more easily than those for ourselves. This shows we are made to live by charity." -C.S. Lewis
In the continuing effort to boast my spirits I have been trying to celebrate tiny things every day with the aid of these calendars. Today is Ben Cohen of Ben and Jerry's birthday plus Ernest Gallo was born on this day in 1909 and started a famous winery so I didn't have his brand of wine but I raised a glass in his honor. I read a little bit of The Intuitionist which I am not loving but sincerely trying to get into. Hopefully things are getting better for me but right now it is hard to tell.
Thank you for listening if you are out there and even if you are not thank you for just being this screen with words I can type and get off of my chest. One thing I was grateful for today was the beautiful weather. It has been awhile since I have felt the sun this strong.
Yours Truly,
Larissa
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