End of Summer, Start of School

Dearest Reader,

All children are officially in school.  I have missed writing to you so much!  Summer was fun and full, but also busy and I barely got to read AT ALL.  Between camping trips, the heat, not being able to read in the car, Eclipse 2017 across America, and all the paperwork involved in registering 3 kids for school I have been feeling officially wiped out. 

I am at the library right now and I get to sit in a place that is NOT the children's section.  I could get use to this, but I am most likely not going to complete my Popsugar reading goal unless they are picture books *shrugs* although I am not giving up- I am going to keep on reading just not looking like I will actually complete my intended goal. 

Some pictures to end summer:  I was able to do #25 Watch the Sunset which is perfect for the end of summer and I can not tell you how excited I am about rain on Sunday!!!!!  After all the fire news here, we could use a good soak. 

I don't have a great viewing area.  This is outside our house.  I needed a quick break but someone followed me!  Oh well, that's mom life.  Praise God for the beautiful sky and the sun AND the rain (coming soon). 

This next week...will be.....the first...FULL week...of school for the girls!!!!  The house is getting clean- inch by slow inch- hopefully it will not be destroyed over the weekend.  My husband graciously encouraged me to focus on house projects rather than finding a job right away.  I am so happy about this.  I felt I was living a little bit on pins and needles trying to approach the subject.  Maybe it is a little selfish but I get to focus more on the Happiness Challenge and my reading and writing. 

It really is a good life.  I may complain from time to time about lack of money, low self esteem because of weight, awkward social skills, miscommunication with spouse and children, but I know God and I have love and faith and hope in Christ that can not be broken.  This is just the beginning of a new chapter with Him. 

So back to the Happiness Challenge...it looks like (#26) Send someone you miss a postcard is next and I found so many postcards while I was cleaning I think I will be sending more than one.  It looks do able for sure.  I will send YOU a postcard if I know who you are and you can send me an email of your address (langsather@gmail.com).  It would be fun to get mail that wasn't a bill.

Yours truly,
L.L.  

Half Way Point Summer 2017

Dearest Reader,

Well....here we are.  I just wanted to send you a quick note because I love you and I want to let you know I am alive.  I have been busy but....mostly busy being lazy!  I have been to Women's Camp, a funeral, a concert, and been binge watching Mad Men and Criminal Minds.  None of these things were Happiness Challenge specific- especially not the funeral which was one of the hardest things I have had to witness.  It was for a friend's 6 year old little boy who was killed by a semi-truck.  An unimaginable, parent's worst nightmare situation.  To be honest, I have been a little angry with God over it.  Every time I think about it my eyes swell with tears.  I also did not come here to write about that, though I wish I could say SOMETHING, ANYTHING to make the ache and pain and fear and anger go away for those hurting from this. 

No, I came to say I am behind on a handful of goals and that life is precious...soak it up.  I wish I could hug each and everyone of you and tell you personally how much you matter.  Any way, I will keep this short and end here.

Love,

L.L.

Summer 2017 Official Beginning

Dearest Reader,

What...a...trip!  I was so stressed and full of anxiety and nerves that I haven't been "happy" enough to count anything on my Happiness Challenge although technically I did a bunch of stuff during this trip I am not going to count it.  My stomach was mostly in knots the whole time and it didn't end exactly well but overall it was an excellent trip.

We started off in John Day.  My husband ran a soccer camp/VBS.  I didn't feel very helpful but it was beautiful out there and hot.  It was also a wonderful bonding time with awesome people.  I didn't have to cook so that was great.  

My husband did amazing by the way!  My kids did pretty well, but were not much into soccer.

After John Day we went to visit my parents.  You might find I have a lack of pictures of my parents- oops- I bet my mom has some.  We haven't visited in a long time.  We haven't done it in nearly 10 years.  We aren't exactly rolling in dough and getting time off is not exactly a cake walk.  But we are thankful for the time we do get. 

Here are some random pictures from various things we did.

My mom cooked some amazing food.  My dad had fun having the kids around though he got a little sick near the end of our time together.  My brother gave the kids fidget spinners!  That is a good uncle.  My sister came around to hang out and bought s'more stuff- yum.  So it was good.

How has the start of your summer been?  I need to get back into reading and writing and finding my Happiness- btw the car made it!

Yours truly,

L.L.

Playing a Board Game

Dearest Reader,

Despite having two arguments during our mini-vacation it was a lot of fun and I got a lot of exercise going up and down the stairs at Great Wolf Lodge.  We got wet.  We played games.  We relaxed.  We made memories and had an enjoyable time.

Now back home and also the rain came back too.  I took this opportunity to play a board game (#24) with the little girls.  Ariana read my mind!  We ended up playing Shopkins Kitchen Mix Up.  We lost the instructions so Lucy and I watched a couple of videos to refresh us on how to play.

Both the people played it differently then we ended up playing but Lucy won the first time and Ariana won the second time.  Of course we couldn't play without someone bursting into tears (Lucy surprisingly).

Basically you get a Shopkin- little plastic toys that look like objects with faces- I was Spilled Milk, Ariana was Sugar Lump, and Lucy was Cheeky Chocolate- You go around the board collecting items to put your recipe together.  The first one back to the kitchen with all their ingredients is the winner.  Ariana was pretty harsh to me the second time around.

Here are the pictures from a simple fun rainy day.

Cutie Shopkins read to Cook

My Shopkins- Spilt Milk

So this week I looked over my Happiness List and tried to figure out what I could get done this week.  I had originally thought we would be able to go on a picnic (#21) but as I said the rain ruined that plan.  The rain is also making it difficult to spot any discernible sunset (#25) so moving on for now.  I might be able to find a post card at my local shops but I am not certain (#26)- I will certainly keep my eye out for one this week.  But the one that seemed most do able and practical and fun would be to take a day off work just because (#27).  As I technically don't have a paying job I kinda have a day off every day, but I do mom things like cleaning and cooking and make chore charts and yelling and nagging etc.... it would be nice to take a day off from that at least give myself a day off because school will finally be out for summer on June  14th and I can get some much needed sleep- at least until our trip to John Day which will come faster then I wish.  Here is to hoping for a day off before the missions trip- I truly hope it works out.  

What board games do you like to play?  I hope you have a wonderful week.  I will write to you next Friday with worry and anxiety about our trip- prayers certainly needed and appreciated.  

Yours truly,

L.L.

Surprise Gift and Nail Wraps

My Dearest Reader,

This week included Memorial Day, but we didn't plan anything special.  I was able to get a big book read though and spend the rest of the week trying to get my mind ready for this month.  I won't be able to write much- most likely.  I won't get many challenges done.  We are going to Great Wolf Lodge next week and then spending the week after that getting ready for the mission trip to John Day during June 18-24 and then spending an extra 3 or 4 days with my parents.  June is pretty booked.  Selfish me doesn't REALLY want to go (except to visit my parents) so I need to be praying for my attitude and heart and mind change.  Family me wants to be a good sport. 

On the other hand one of the randomest (my own word) reasons I don't know about these trips is always financial.  I have stretched out bras, lots of holes in all my pants, and have gained so much weight from not running that I am just a complete mess.  I bounce back and forth every day between being confident with who I am and quit wearing a bra altogether and then withering into self loathing for letting myself get so fat and feeling like no one loves me- all day, every day, every minute- I change how I feel about myself.  I don't know how we are going to afford new clothes especially decent bras are $50 a pop.  I tried finding cheaper ones they all felt like I was being strangled.  What is wrong with my boobs?  Is that TMI?  I don't want to go bra shopping!  It is just too depressing to think about.

But in better news I did get two challenges done this week- "Surprise someone you love with a gift".  Look!!!  Aren't these great!!!

I decided on a gift for both of us.  I just wanted to something in our room that would make me smile and something we both enjoy- Star Wars!  Maybe it will inspire my husband to FINALLY make the bed?  One can wish for the impossible. 

Friday is usually the day I write to you but tomorrow we are going to see the new Wonder Woman movie which also collided with the "nail art" challenge.  I changed it a little so I could use Jamberry wraps and help out my wonderful consultant. 

Cute- huh?  I can now match my shoes!  I even bought some new pajama pants and tank top for tomorrow too!  I am excited.  It should be good fun.  Even the kids are coming! 

So things are slowly looking up though I am not looking forward to writing the annual report for church tomorrow but thankfully we are doing that at a coffee shop so I will happy with a latte or a fresh kombucha for this unpleasant work. 

Do you like to do your nails?  Normal mine would be a little longer at least but they kept breaking off and well one thing led to another and it feels so good to cut them really short after they get so much gunk in them after working in the garden or doing dishes- I should use more gloves but I like a more hands on approach and I hated the clicking sound it was making when I was typing. 

Wish me luck- pray for my attitude- and the miracle of either weight loss, confidence, or a magical breast reduction. 

Yours Truly,

L.L.

Wishes....

Dearest Reader,

I wish there was more physical evidence of how hard I feel I worked to keep everyone from killing each other, but other than that I am fine and nothing much happened this week that I wish to share in great detail.

Saturday was just me bearing my frustrations to a friend while making 50+ mini churros for the Mexican feed for Sunday.  I took a break from Facebook and actually feel more stable about myself in general which was the least of what I was hoping for- better than nothing.

The rest of the week I focused on my reading and kitchen cleaning and cooking- normal, average every day life.  I do have two highlights- I listened to a Fountains of Carrots podcast while cross stitching which always lifts my spirits and I received a box from my mom filled with a few souvenirs and programs from my Grandmere's memorial service.  When I read what my mom wrote for the service I very much balled my eyes out.  It also gave me a lot to think about.  

Honestly don't know what next week holds all I know is that I do not wish to commit to anything at this time. 

Yours truly,

L.L.

Confession

My Dearest Reader,

I am sorry for my tardiness with this post.  I have had a week of absolute wretched annoyance.  My wish is to be discreet yet honest which will be very difficult to do.  It is a shame that all of this culminated after a truly pleasant Mother's Day.

There have been severe misunderstandings and miscommunications between my husband and I.  It has made me feel frustrated beyond belief.  I am, by no means, a controlling and nagging wife so this makes it all the more difficult to comprehend why he has become unbearable to approach with subjects that are not even very important let alone the ones that are.  It has nearly warranted me to seek a mediator or counselor. 

Without going into excessive detail let me just say, yesterday, he did offer to take the children shopping (for which I was grateful) so I could accomplish the task we have been arguing over.  I wish they had been gone for longer then an hour and a half for I did something quite shameful.  I washed myself in my grief and despair and became completely ill over it by the time they returned.  My stomach turned.  My head ached.  I was a complete mess and failure.  Any way I hope you can forgive me and we might move on.  This feels like a classic example of someone crying out for help.  I wouldn't beat around the bush- it is.  I will soon be seeking some form of counsel in the near future.  But until then prayers will be my rock. 

Ironically the challenge I had been working on this week was "surprise someone you love with a gift".  Since I was working on the challenge earlier in the week I wasn't quite as upset as I am now.  But I was still torn as to what kind of gift and to whom should I give it.  It nearly made me wish I had a close friend.  I have wished that all my life but it appears that God is no genie and I fail in the art of social interaction.  To be perfectly honest I wanted to buy myself a gift, but I ended up buying something for the both of us.  I am too irritated at the moment to discuss said purchase plus it will be more fun to share when it actually arrives and I can take pictures. 

I love my husband.  He is smart, handsome, and great at his job.  So I don't know why I keep messing it up.

Yours Truly,

L.L.